Cheating People Out Of What They Are Owed

Refer to STEP 6: I made a commitment to turn away from my pride and refused to become just like those who abused me.
Much of the spiritual abuse–which debilitates thousands–comes from leaders of 501c (3) Christian ministries. Part of the problem stems from a mind-set that validates the belief that the ends justify the means. [...]

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Have I Chafed Under The Strain Of My Circumstances? You Bet!

Refer to STEP 2: I recognized that where I am in life is not where I want to be.
I have a question. Do you ever think God holds you to a higher standard than He does for others? I certainly do.
Many people I know seem to have such a comfortable, easy life, while mine—by [...]

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God Is Not A Cosmic Candy Machine

Refer to STEP 4: I chose to accept as true what God has said about Himself. He is good and can be trusted.
In spite of what anyone might tell you, God is not a blessing machine, ready to dispense material favors for all who ask without qualification. When you look at the “Fruits [...]

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“The Ends Justify the Means” Is Not a Bible Verse

Refer to STEP 4: I recognized that God is not the abuser—people who misuse their authority are the abusers. 
Much of the conflict and abuse in our churches and ministries comes from the mistaken belief that worthwhile goals justify the means necessary to achieve them. This simply isn’t true, and nothing like this is taught [...]

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Are You Exactly Where You’re Supposed To Be?

Refer to STEP 8: I shared my experience with a trusted friend and confessed to God the exact state of my heart.

I had an interesting and instructive experience the last time I went to my small group Bible study. A young couple in the group has spent the last year in Boston where she has [...]

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“Just have a little faith” – Oh, Shut It

Refer to STEP 10: I believed that God still has a purpose for my life—a purpose for good and not evil.
When things are particularly difficult for you, how many times have you heard someone say? “It will be OK. You just need to have a little faith.”
People mean well when they say this, but [...]

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It’s Easy To Blame Someone For Your Situation

Refer to STEP 3: I accepted that the responsibility for getting back on track was mine and no one else’s.
When you’ve experienced abuse of any kind, you inevitably lose your ability to trust. It just goes with the turf. Some people never get it back and lead half-lives ruled by suspicion and distrust.
If your abuse [...]

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He’s Determined To Use Us As He Sees Fit

Refer to STEP 10: I believed that God still has a purpose for my life—a purpose for good and not evil.
When I think of the Easter season and the events leading to the Lord’s death, I can definitely identify with one part of it. It’s when Christ asked if there was any way He could [...]

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Ever feel like you’re being stretched beyond your limits?

Refer to STEP 4: He is good and can be trusted.
Do you ever feel like you’re being stretched beyond your limits? Just when you think you can’t handle one more thing; inevitably, two or three more things are piled onto you. And without thinking you’re capable of anything else, you’re amazed that your capacity is [...]

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You Need To Be Gentle With Yourself

Refer to STEP 4: I came to believe that God understood my wounded-ness.

After reading yesterday’s entry, one woman offered the following observation:
Could we say this a little differently? Instead of trying to make someone who is very hurt right now say that God has a purpose for it, could we say that He might want [...]

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Things Didn’t Go Well For Jesus

Refer to STEP 10: I believed that God still has a purpose for my life.

A critical part of recovery from spiritual abuse is developing a New Testament mindset. Too often, we talk about being a born-again Christian, but when adversity comes, we fall apart and complain about how hard life is on us. My question [...]

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Part of Spiritual Abuse is Being Falsely Accused

Refer to STEP 11: I made a commitment to nurture my relationship with the Lord, asking Him to reveal His will to me and provide me with the power to carry it out.
Part of spiritual abuse is being falsely accused. As you can imagine, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. Everything in [...]

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It Will Make You a Better Person – Much Better

Refer to STEP 1: I recognized that where I am in life is not where I want to be.
When I first invited Christ into my life in 1964, I had visions about the plans God had for me. Because I was young, my visions were grandiose and very self-centered. But I didn’t realize it. [...]

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They Forget That Their Walk is Moment-by-Moment

Refer to STEP 6: I abandoned my desire to spread hatred because of my pain and anger, and chose to relinquish my right to be self-absorbed.
Have you ever asked yourself why there are so many abusive people in Christianity? According to the Zogby poll, there are as many as 30 million people who have left [...]

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Part of My Story: I Wanted To Be Rich in The World’s Eyes

REFER to Step 1: I recognized that where I am in life is not where I want to be.
When I first accepted Christ as Lord and Savior as a nineteen-year-old young man, I was told “God had a wonderful plan for my life.” In my mind, this equated to power, success, prestige, and wealth. Because [...]

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