Stories of Religious Abuse: Part 1

Religious abuse occurs often and can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, religious affiliation, or time of life. Most abuse is inadvertent—not intended to inflict permanent damage to a person. This is not the type of religious abuse we’re dealing with in Pushing Jesus. Our focus is squarely upon those who use their positions of authority to abuse others, which makes it particularly devastating to the recipient. These leaders believe they have the authority and the right to do so. They believe that they are entitled to treat others the way they do.

The consequences of their abusiveness are frequently catastrophic; nearly as devastating as a parent telling a child he or she is unloved and unwanted. Sadly, even little children experience spiritual abuse at a time when they are the most vulnerable and impressionable—when they are the most susceptible. The negative imprint upon the child lasts a lifetime, diminishing the recipient’s self-worth. If unchecked, it can lessen a person’s life-long accomplishments.

Religious abuse is devastating because it nearly always brings the recipient’s relationship with God into question. Either directly or indirectly, the abuser states or implies that the person’s connection to God is flawed, making the abusee feel alienated—a person with diminished value, a person unworthy of God’s love and care. Being estranged from God is like being estranged from a parent—no good thing comes from it.

To give you a better understanding—a better “feel”—for what religious abuse really is, three examples will be given; one from a small boy, one from a young man just beginning to make his way in the world, and one from a man going through a proverbial “mid-life crisis.” Each is an example of a religious authority figure using his position of power to abuse someone in his charge.

The first example comes from a Roman Catholic priest in Boston, the second from a fundamentalist minister in Atlanta, the third from “The Elders” in a Southern California cult. The experiences were as diverse as the geographical locations, but each illustrates an excellent example of religious abuse—an instance of misused authority. After reading these personal accounts, perhaps you’ll have a clearer picture of what religious abuse really is. Each situation will be described by the person who experienced it—in the person’s own words.