God’s Will Not Our Own

Refer to STEP 9: I humbly ask God to change anything He desires.
Most of us function in our daily lives with many false beliefs. Perhaps the greatest is that we control our own destiny. Everybody wants to believe this, but it simply isn’t true—as the vicissitudes of life teach us repeatedly.
We all want to believe [...]

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Publishing Contract

Last week, I accepted an offer from Howard Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, to publish two of my books.
91 days to Recovery from Religious Abuse will be published first and will be available next fall (2010) wherever books are sold.
Hi, my name Is Jack will be published the following year.
Obviously, I’m pleased. If [...]

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Understanding God’s Will

Refer to STEP 8: I shared my experience with a trusted friend and confessed to God the exact state of my heart.
People frequently believe they are not in God’s will because following their current path has proven to be very difficult. In this way of thinking, which is shared by millions, because the strain of [...]

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Learning to Grow Up

Refer to STEP 3: I accept that the responsibility for getting back on track is mine and no one else’s.
By the time I was thirty-three, after having established my relationship with God as my core relationship in life fifteen years earlier, one might expect that I was a well-established man with strong character qualities, but [...]

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Difficulties Create Character: PART 1

Refer to STEP 4: I believe that God understands my wounded-ness and He alone can heal me.
When you see how easy some people’s lives seem to be, do you ever wonder if God is holding you to a higher standard than He does with them? So many people seem to have such [...]

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Narcissistic Christian Ministers

Refer to STEP 6: I made a commitment to turn away from my pride and refused to become just like those who abused me.
One of the origins of spiritual abuse comes from the narcissistic men and women who lead Christian ministries. The problem, which happens quite often, stems from a mind-set that equates the minister’s [...]

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The Origins of Religious Abuse: Part 4

STEP4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
Not everybody who has been abused goes quietly. Most bow their heads, tuck their tails, and withdraw to live out their days wounded and scorned, but not everybody is willing to be a martyr for the religious leader. [...]

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The Origins of Religious Abuse: Part 3

STEP4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
For religious abuse to occur, arrogance on the part of a religious leader is required. People have differences of opinion all the time but, when one opinion is elevated so far above another person that it is positioned as [...]

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Fighting for Your Beliefs

STEP 6: I make a commitment to turn away from my pride and refuse to become like those who have abused me. I abandon my desire to spread malice because of my pain and anger, and I chose to relinquish my right to be self-absorbed.
Of all the reasons for religious abuse, perhaps the greatest is [...]

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The Origins of Religious Abuse: Part 2

STEP 4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
Abusive religious leaders don’t forget the importance of God’s calling—not completely anyway. Nearly every clergyman can point to a time when they realized God wanted them to devote their careers to the ministry. That’s what makes the problem [...]

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The Origins of Religious Abuse: Part 1

STEP4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
Somewhere in time, the idea of being called to the ministry has changed—at least for many. In this change, which at first is subtle in a person, the seeds of religious abusiveness become fertile. In the early church and [...]

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