Maria’s Story of Dealing with Abuse: Part 3

This is the final part of Maria’s incredible story. If you want yours posted, send it to me. It might help someone else who is struggling with the same thing.

Cory would use my title to try to manipulate me and even to hurt me. All of his abusive behavior came out in 2009, when he physically hit my nineteen-year-old daughter. He also hit my seventeen-year-old son, bruising his face. He used the Bible to say that it was right, and he would do it again. That is when I finally woke up and searched for help in my church.

This time, I knew something had to be done. It helped that I was able to recognize I had been in an abusive relationship all the years we were married, which included all of the infidelities. Working with the counselor, I was able to express that I was physically abused by my husband all the time. I have what they call a hip-effusion caused by trauma, which was done by my ex-husband, but I also know that my emotional and spiritual strength were greater than when I was married the first time.

I want to share an episode that took place, which made me realize that I had to be careful with this man. It made me realize I really did not know him. Finally, at the end, his abuse became physical as well.

One day, he was trying to make me leave my room, while I was trying to get some clothes out of my closet. I did not realize how angry he was because I was scared to even look at him. He grabbed me, and I slid down the wall on the floor. He grabbed my right leg, and I began screaming and crying loudly. Through my tears, I said, “Please let go. You are hurting me.” He continued even harder until something popped very loudly. Then, I screamed so loudly two of my kids found me on the floor, and he let me go at the same time.

He jumped right up to his computer chair and began writing. My son asked me, “Mom, what happened?”

I was trying to talk and my ex-husband kept interrupting. He said stuff like, “Yes, I did hear something pop.”

Finally, my son told him to be quiet and to let me speak. I finally did, and they helped me to my bed. Looking back, I should have reported it, but I did not. I began crying from the pain. Cory turned to me and said these words, “Good. Maybe you will be like Jacob in the Bible, and God will use this to humble you.”

I continued crying. I was not able to seek medical help until a year later because I was afraid to.

After four counselors, trying to see if my marriage could be saved, God showed me to let it go before I was physically damaged even more. My emotional state was not good but, for the first time in my life, I knew personally that God said to me, “Let it go!”

That was the best decision I could have ever made. When you are dealing with spiritual abuse and, when you have not recognized it yet, it can have the power to destroy you. It plays over and over in your mind. When your partner—or whoever—knows you love God above everything else, that person will use it to try to manipulate, control and over power your personal relationship with Christ.

I have to say all types of abuse are horrible, and God does not wink at it. Spiritual abuse is one that lingers and, if you don’t become strong  by reading the Bible and studying it, you can emotionally, mentally, and be physically destroyed. And, that’s exactly the emotional place where your abuser wants you to stay.

To this day, this man is free to continue being the sociopath that I now know him to be. I have healed a lot his past year, and I can now recognize spiritual, verbal and emotional manipulation. I don’t allow any of the things I have heard him say about me to have control over me, nor what he has posted on his websites.

That is in God’s hands now, and I go on living life. God has given me another chance to live life to the fullest. Today, I am not the same little girl who wandered through life, suffering all types of abuse. Instead, I’ve learned to make tough decisions and choices. I am now on the other side of this a humongous mountain. I have had so much support all around the country that I am so thankful for.

I am free to be me and know that God is pleased with who I am. Yes, there were times I thought I would end up in the hospital but, looking back, I had to go through those very dark moments to be who I am today. Today, I am beginning a new life, and I being used by God in ways I would have never expected. I know God has plans for me, as His daughter, which puts a smile on my face.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Even though I have suffered all types of abuse in my life, I want to take this opportunity to mention a few things about “Spiritual Abuse.” Spiritual abuse is happening all over our country today, including our Christian churches and colleges. I call it the silent epidemic that is hurting a lot of people, especially our young adults.

This is very subtle. It is used by those who think they have authority over us, and they actually use that statement. You have to remember that our ultimate authority is God, and He doesn’t go around beating us over the head with that statement. There are several people who are very close to me who are suffering “spiritual abuse.” This is when the “Church” takes the place of God.

When you hear statements such as, “You will be without fellowship with God unless you put yourself under us, the elders, the pastor, etc.,” you are a victim of spiritual abuse. When you are told to follow certain rituals or traditions and, if you don’t, you are out of fellowship with God, take notice. Then run. God’s word has all our answers for us and, in His time, He will show you the answers you might be searching for. He is a loving God, full of Grace and mercy, and He is a just God—unlike man.