Reflecting on Your Experiences

Refer to Step 11: I make a commitment to nurture my relationship with the Lord, asking Him to reveal His will to me and to provide me with the power to carry it out.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seamed with scars.

—E. H. Chapin

Having experienced religious abuse as a Catholic child in Boston, while living in a hippie community in California during the Vietnam War that turned into a cult, and as an adult working for Christian ministries for thirty years, each experience has had a shaming effect upon me. For many reasons, I believed I didn’t measure up, and my sense of self worth was abysmally low. I certainly was not the Lone Ranger. Many of my peers had similar experiences and felt the same way—exactly the same way. Some of those around me seemed to be able to handle their abusiveness better than I could.

I wanted to be like them and cast God aside, but I couldn’t. For me, He was real, and I had to deal with Him, regardless of what others chose to do. Perhaps that’s why helping other people recognize their abuse is so important to me. I knew that when I began to understand the causal factors behind my abuse, I would be able to use the recovery tools I learned as a member of AA and turn my life around spiritually.

For years, I wondered why everything happened the way it did. I often thought, Why did that have to happen?

In recent years, I’ve come to accept that nothing occurs without a reason. I couldn’t understand it at the time, but each incident had a purpose. Each chaotic incident and personal failure helped me become the person I am today.

When events were unfolding, I was in too much pain to have any discernment. It was all I could do to make it one day at a time. Since then, however, my concern has always been for people who have been wounded—for the underdog. That’s why I have been writing about religious abuse for years. My burden is to help the millions of wounded Christians whose lives typify pain and sorrow more than love and joy.

Despite what has happened in your past, you can become the person God created you to be—the person you know you want to be. I know it.

And after you have suffered for a little, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. (I Peter 5:10)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Accepting Responsibility

Refer to Step 7: I will make a detailed, written account of my abusive experiences, as well as my subsequent behavior. I commit to being as thorough and honest as I’m able.

 

True repentance means making amends with the person when at all possible.

—Lawana Blackwell

In the last half century, Christianity has undergone a fundamental change. People no longer consider themselves to be as accountable as they once were. Because God forgives their sins by simply confessing them, that’s all that is required in their eyes. Saying a quick prayer, they dismiss their behavior and move on to the next item on their agenda.

They rarely take into account the pain they’ve caused others, and most don’t make amends for their actions. In their minds, they don’t believe it’s necessary. For them, forgiveness and accountability are vertical and never horizontal. Such thinking, however, repudiates Scriptural teaching, and it leaves a trail of broken relationships that never heal.

That’s why taking inventory and writing down the exact nature of your wrongs is so important. It provides a level of introspection that’s healthy and appropriate, and it allows you to take a hard look at what you’ve done.

It’s easy to dismiss poor behavior and to gloss over wrongdoing, when all you have to do is think about it. It’s much more difficult to be self-deceiving when you put it down with pen and paper. Taking the time to be completely forthright is an essential part of recovery, and there’s no way to circumvent it. It’s healthy, appropriate, and absolutely necessary. After taking inventory becomes routine, it will cease being a chore. Like flossing your teeth, you couldn’t imagine what life would be like without it. It’s that integral to recovery.

For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you, what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in this matter. (II Corinthians 7:11)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Regaining Your Self-Worth

Refer to Step 3: I accept that the responsibility for getting back on track is mine and no one else’s.

No man knows the genuineness of his convictions until he has sacrificed something for them.

—E. H. Chapin

Feeling defeated and inadequate as a result of religious abuse—and perhaps because of their family of origin issues as well—men and women nearly always have difficulty regaining their self-worth. They want to feel worthy, but they don’t. They want to make a positive contribution, but they don’t believe they are capable of doing so. They want to experience fulfillment but, because of the shame inflicted by their wounding, their efforts are half-hearted and nearly always end in failure.

Has this been your experience? Do you believe success is destined for others and not for you? Do you believe that your best years have passed and nothing noteworthy or of value will ever come your way again?

If so, you feel exactly like most abused people. You’ve been victimized, and you have responded like a victim. That’s normal, but it doesn’t have to be your lifelong experience.

It’s certainly not God’s will for you to languish, wasting your life in despair. Your past doesn’t have to impact your future adversely, but getting out of the hole can be difficult—very difficult. In fact, if you depend exclusively on your own initiative, it’s nearly impossible.

That’s where the value of using the 11 Steps becomes evident. You can now work a program that will help you deal with your feelings of inadequacy, and you will be able to regain the solid relationship with the Lord that once was yours.

Accomplishing this will not be easy. It requires hard work, done consistently over time. The good news is that you can make steady progress and, with each step forward, you will become increasingly stronger. With that in mind, why not shake off your lethargy and get to work on your recovery? Don’t delay; make the commitment and start today.

I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am not longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.” And he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. (Luke 15:18-20)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Drifting to the Darker Side

Refer to Step 1: I acknowledge that my life is shipwrecked and not where I want it to be.

 

It is easier to pretend to be what you are not, than to hide what you really are; he that can accomplish both, has little to learn in hypocrisy.

—Charles Caleb Colton

When you started to move away from the Lord, whether consciously or unconsciously, you began to compromise who you were. At first, it may have been just a thing or two, followed by additional conciliations. Before long, however, much of who you were—much of what made you strong, purposeful, and resilient—was no longer there. You became a vestige of your former self, while still maintaining the illusion that you were okay.

Your denial of reality was that complete. You could still talk the talk, but you gravitated to the darker side rather than toward the light. Although you maintained many characteristics of Christianity, on the inside, where it really counts, you became hollow—a shell of what you once were.

If you’re really being honest, does this sound like your experience? Take a moment and think about it.

Have little pieces of your character been shaved off one at a time? Do you wonder if there’s anything left? Does reading this cause you to bristle? Is it painful to introspect at such a tender, vulnerable level? Is it all you can do to continue? Do you want to walk away and think about something else?

If so, you’re precisely where you need to be. It’s the place where you can begin to see the difference between who you pretend to be and who you really are. Others may tell you what a wonderful person you are, but you know the truth, don’t you? Their approbation doesn’t match how you feel on the inside, does it? You’re not even close to where you want to be. Your success, as measured by the state of your heart, is far emptier than you ever thought it would be.

If all of this is true, then you’re in a spot where God’s healing touch should be very desirable. There’s nothing like it. All you need to do is stop walking away from God, turn, and begin walking back. When you do, He will be more than you ever imagined Him to be. He will strengthen your inner man with love, joy, peace, and purpose.

For if any one is a hearer of the word and not a does, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual does, this man is blessed in what he does. (James 1:23-25)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Abandoning Hurtful Ways

Father,

You know how badly I have been mistreated

By those who should have fostered my welfare

But did the exact opposite—instead,

Taking advantage of my trusting nature.

I’ve expressed my outrage and indignation

To You so often that I’ve lost count.

This affront has deeply wounded my soul.

Out of my pain and ire, I know I have hurt others,

Which I have tried to excuse but cannot.

I fear I have become like those who have hurt me,

Injuring the innocent—just as I have been.

Father, I acknowledge I have done this—

That at times I have become a hurtful person.

I don’t want to be like my abusers,

But in all candor, I know that I have been,

Despite my insistence to the contrary.

Forgive me, Father. Heal my wounded heart,

And restore gladness to my troubled soul.

As an act of contrition, I have chosen to abandon

My self-serving ways, which have been so wounding.

Despite my vexation and my disquietude,

I choose to stop spreading malice and enmity.

To sustain my determined resolve,

I need Your strength more than ever.

Will You reach down and empower me?

Will You help me bridle my caustic tongue?

Will You keep my feet from stumbling?

Transform my wandering heart, Lord,

And keep me close to You at all times.

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Review & Reflection 16

Father,

I have behaved in ways that have not only

Hurt me but many others as well.

I acknowledge this to You right now.

I’m so sorry for having wronged them,

Which I had no right to do.

Question: How many people have you wronged like this? Is the list long or short? How substantial has the wrong been?

 

Not wanting to experience the pain and emotional dysfunction associated with your abuse, have you swept everything, including your relationship with God, under the rug? Have you said to yourself, I don’t want to have anything to do with God ever again?

 Question: Answer the questions above honestly and forthrightly.

 

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to acknowledge that you regret past behavior, especially to a spouse, parent, or sibling, but it has to be done. There’s no getting around it, no matter how difficult it may be. Besides, it’s one of those things that will nag at you—never giving you rest until you’ve done it.

Journal: How many relationships like this do you have? Think of everybody who belongs on this last and write down their names.

 

Father, do whatever you want with me. I accept all of it graciously, willingly. Such prayers seem so noble when we say them—that is, until the Lord actually initiates real change. When that happens—when His pruning process begins, we scream Holy Murder! The pain is often so intense that we’re certain we cannot make it through. We are all for pruning—just as long as it’s not too painful.

 Question: Has this been your experience? How painful has the pruning process been?

 

God doesn’t work in common sense ways—never has, never will. Because His ways are not our ways, we rack our brains and cannot understand how He operates; but when we look back at his faithfulness over time, we realize that He has done what we have asked—but in ways we never anticipated or even considered.

 Journal: Write about an episode in your life where God was faithful in ways you never anticipated. When you’re finished, be sure and keep the paper. You may want to refer to it from time to time.

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Dianne’s Experience from Australia

Hi Jack:

When I worked through Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom, I did what it said and got a mentor. I am actually well emotionally now as a result of the work I have done, and it took the time it required.  I can see now my life is the life God gives me in Christ, and it is not the same life I had.

Before reading Recovering from Religious Abuse, which really did the final hard yards for me, I had done a lot of work on my recovery.  I am now accepting I need to be part of Overeaters Anonymous for a long time.  I need the support of others who know something of my suffering and can help me when I fall into a hole.  I also know I can ask for help now without being overwhelmed by shame.  That’s nice for me.

I decided to share this with you as it may make sense.  I enjoy what you write in your reflections because I get to see the same God I love from another point of view.  So, this is just sharing really.  The person I most need to make amends to is myself, so I don’t have to travel very far.  I am finding it easier and, although hard, I am on a food plan and getting better at living within the boundaries it sets to help me manage my weight and diabetes.  Sometimes restrictions are good for my life.

In the last little while we had two prisoners escape from our local jail—my husband was telling me about it last night—when they got out at around 2 a.m., they found it was too cold. They rang to doorbell and asked the guards to let them back in, so they could get back in their cell.  It was too cold outside. No charges were made; they just took them back to their cells.

Prison is not a bad thing.  Limits are not a bad thing.  I am willing to accept that now.  I wasn’t for a long time.

Enjoy,

Dianne

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How God Answers Prayer

Refer to Step 11: I make a commitment to nurture my relationship with the Lord, asking Him to reveal His will to me and to provide me with the power to carry it out.

 

You can’t think your way into a new way of living . . . you have to live your way into a new way of thinking.

—Anonymous

It’s much easier to worry a problem to death than it is to trust God about it, which is why so few operate in faith. People rack their brains about how a problem is going to be solved; and for the life of them, they can’t see a way out. It’s common for people to disbelieve God when they can’t figure out how He is going to solve a problem, based on their common sense reasoning.

Does this sound familiar? How often has this happened in your life? It’s happened in my life many times. Being human, it continues to be an issue for me.

The problem is God doesn’t work in common sense ways—never has, never will. Because His ways are not our ways, we rack our brains and cannot understand how He operates; but when we look back at his faithfulness, we realize that He has done what we have asked—but in ways we never anticipated or even considered.

That’s the key. He operates supernaturally and not in “common sense” ways. We need to understand the difference and come to God based on His ways and not our own. If we do, then we will not spend so much time fretting about how God will answer our prayers.

Because we are not divine, we cannot think like God—not really. What we can do is recognize our limitations and not ascribe them to Him. He is Almighty; we are not. Knowing the difference, and knowing that God is active in our lives, can spare each of us a world of heartache and trouble.

In this sense, being childlike is an essential ingredient of faith. Children have complete confidence in their parents. Once they tell their mom or dad something, they let it go, knowing that their parents will handle the matter. It’s the same way with God. Once you put a matter in His hands, you can release it. Worrying about it after you’ve given it to Him isn’t a sign of maturity; it’s a sign of immature faith.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you. (I Peter 5:7)

—Jack Watts    Recommended Resources

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Being Purified

Refer to Step 9: I humbly ask God to change anything He wishes, and I ask Him to heal my pain.

 

Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.

—Pablo Picasso

Being pruned by God is a way of life for His children—a way the Scriptures teach we should embrace. In my own experience, as someone who wants to be everything God wants me to be, I have prayed, Father, do whatever you want with me. I accept everything You place before me graciously and willingly.

Such prayers seem so noble when we say them—that is, until the Lord actually initiates real change. When that happens—when His pruning process begins, we scream Holy Murder! The pain is often so intense we’re certain we will not make it through. We are all for pruning—just as long as it’s not painful.

But that’s not the way God works. The Scriptures teach that He is a consuming fire, which is most often associated with judgment, but it can also refer to purification. To get us where He wants us to be, God burns away everything that prevents us from becoming stronger and more resilient. By the time He’s finished, most feel like they’ve been whittled down to nothing, with little left.

We see this process through our eyes; He sees it through His. To mold us into what He intends we should be, God engineers our circumstances to put us in a position where we have no alternative other than to trust Him. When this happens—and it happens to every one of His children—it feels very destructive and, in many ways, it is. That is, until something new emerges. When that happens, you become a person with far more estimable character qualities than ever before, which is always His will.

Therefore, if you are one of His children, let the Lord do with you as He may. He’s going to anyway, regardless of whether you like it or not. When the process is complete, you’ll like what you see—so will others.

And He will sit as a smelter and purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, so that they may present to the Lord offerings in righteousness. (Malachi 3:3)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Being Willing to Make Amends

Refer to Step 5: I recognize that the only way back to a productive life is exactly the way I came. Therefore, I commit to repairing my relationship with God and making amends with everyone I have wronged along the way.

 

True repentance means making amends with the person when at all possible.

Lawana Blackwell

Part of repairing your relationship with God is repairing your relationship with those you have offended along the way. This is where the rubber meets the road in recovery—where “walking the walk” really gets tough. It’s easy to repair your relationship with God. He’s always there and always forgiving. It’s His nature, whether you believe it or not.

It’s entirely different with those you have mistreated in life, many of whom are less than forgiving. Some people may not want anything to do with you and your “apology,” which they consider to be disingenuous. They may even treat your attempt at reconciliation contemptuously, which makes your efforts at contrition very difficult. Nevertheless, you have to make an attempt, regardless of the consequences.

Remember, you are only responsible for your part of the problem, not theirs. Since you can’t control the outcome, you don’t have responsibility for the results either. How someone reacts to your apology is their responsibility, not yours. Once you’ve addressed the issue, leave the outcome to God, and trust that He will work in the heart of the other person.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to acknowledge that you regret past behavior, especially to a spouse, parent, or sibling, but it has to be done. There’s no getting around it, no matter how difficult it may be. Besides, it’s one of those things that will nag at you—never giving you rest until you’ve done it.

When it’s over, however, and you’ve addressed the problem, it’s an entirely different story. The relief you experience is palpable. A tremendous weight will have been lifted from your shoulders, and your relief will make you feel lighter—literally. It’s like a ball and chain has been removed from your shoulders, which it has, making the entire episode worthwhile.

If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. (Matthew 5:23-24)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Facing Religious Abuse

Refer to Step 3:I accept that the responsibility for getting back on track is mine and no one else’s.

  

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them.

—Harold J. Smith

When you’ve been wounded by religious abuse—shamed, humiliated, intimidated, and ridiculed, the natural inclination is to retreat into a protective shell. In your heart, you just want to “go away” and never have anything to do with “those people” again. The problem is that God is often thrown in the same category as your abusers. By withdrawing, you have probably also retreated in your relationship with the Lord, which is definitely self-defeating behavior.

If you’re really being honest with yourself, has this been your experience? Not wanting to experience the pain and emotional dysfunction associated with your abuse, have you swept everything, including your relationship with God, under the rug? Have you said to yourself, I don’t want to have anything to do with God ever again?

Although this is the course of action most people follow, it’s a strategy that doesn’t work—not long-term anyway. To heal—to become the person you were meant to be—you must revisit your abuse, feel the pain once again, and release it. Then, before you can move on you’re your life, you must forgive your abusers. Nothing less will allow you to heal effectively.

Keeping the issue buried deep within you may feel comfortable—like it’s the right thing to do—but it isn’t. What works is reopening the old wound, which drains the malice, and allows the anger, bitterness, and resentment to heal.

Repressing painful events doesn’t work in any other area of your life, and it will not work with religious abuse either. To heal, you must face your situation once again. It’s the only way. At first, it will feel uncomfortable; but over time, you’ll realize how necessary this course of action has been.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves. (II Corinthians 4:7)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Making Amends

Father,

I have wandered so far from You—

From Your ways, from Your leading,

From Your purpose, and from Your love.

At first, it didn’t seem like such a distance,

But, over time, I have come to realize

My departure has been far greater

Than I could ever have imagined.

I know I need to return to You,

But now that I see the breach between us,

The way back seems long and difficult.

In my reaction to having been wounded,

I have behaved in ways that have not only

Hurt me but many others as well.

I acknowledge this to You right now.

I’m so sorry for having wronged them,

Which I had no right to do.

I can see how wayward I have become.

As I begin my long journey back to wholeness,

I know I need to make amends to those

I have hurt along the way—some badly.

It never occurred to me that I might have

Treated others in the same way I have been treated.

Just thinking about my behavior and my attitude

Makes me feel ashamed, Father.

I am so, so sorry for what I have done and said.

Forgive me, and restore me to those I have hurt.

Most of all, restore my relationship with You.

Help me learn from my egregious errors,

So that I will never feel the compulsion

To drift so far away from You again.

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Review and Reflection 15

Father,

I’m not where I want to be—not even close.

I’m not what I want to be,

And I’m not the person I’m capable of being.

Even worse, the gap is widening, not narrowing.

If I’m being honest with myself,

Which I repeatedly try to avoid,

I’m constantly excusing my poor

Behavior and my self-serving attitude.

I don’t like myself—not even a little.

Journal: React to this prayer by writing your own statement. Are your thoughts similar or not? Be specific and candid.

I had a vision for what my life would be—a vision that was quite pretentious, but God’s purpose was different. Becoming who He intended me to be has taken substantial work, and it continues to take work, each and every day of my life. By looking to God for the future, rather than blaming Him for the past, I chose life over the debilitating half-life of bitterness.

Question: Can you say that about yourself? Have you traveled a similar journey? Or, has it been different?

When you take a look at the lives of religious leaders, especially from large churches and ministries, frequently the leaders consider themselves to be superiors to the rest. Even if they give lip service to saying they are servants, they don’t really believe it. In their minds and hearts, their thoughts and pronouncements are more important than what others think and have to say.

 

Journal: The statement above produces strong emotions for those who have suffered religious abuse. Write about what the abuser in your life has been like.

To heal, you must abandon your insistence upon retribution. Step 7 is about you and your healing—not about “them.” If you insist on making it about how badly you were wronged, you will make little progress. It’s as simple as that. You must abandon your anger and your need to be right.

Journal: Where are you when it comes to self-vindication? Write about it, being as honest and candid as you can possibly be.

I chose to respond in a way that has always worked for me, by bowing my knee and seeking the will of God. I don’t know any other way to live life, and even if I did, I wouldn’t choose an alternative path. For better or worse, it’s who I have become. By abasing myself before the Lord, however, I knew what I was doing. God promises to exalt those who are genuinely humble “at the proper time”—using His timetable for exaltation and not mine.

Question: In your own life, where are you in the restoration process? On a scale of 1-to-10, where would that be? Write it down and keep it for a year. Then, look for the difference.

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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Fulfillment Will Come—in Its Season

Refer to Step 10: I choose to believe God still has a purpose for my life—a purpose for good and not evil.

 

We bow to the man who kneels.

—Victor Hugo

In recovery, there are frequently long periods of emotional drought—times when you think the sun will never shine on you again and your life will never have value. Having recently gone through such a period, I chose to respond in the way that has always worked for me, by bowing my knee and seeking the will of God.

I don’t know any other way to live life, and even if I did, I wouldn’t choose an alternative path. For better or worse, it’s who I have become. By abasing myself before the Lord, however, I knew what I was doing. God promises to exalt those who are genuinely humble, but only “at the proper time.” That’s using His timetable and not mine.

Such a time came recently, however, when I was asked to be the Master of Ceremonies at The YMCA to honor the life of a man who was dying of liver cancer. It was a difficult assignment because of all of the emotion, which filled the room, along with the 120 people—all of whom were paying their tribute and their respect to the man.

Obviously, the event was about him and not about me. When it was over, however, I received the following email from the director of the YMCA, which said:

So often I wait to make sure when I send an email of gratitude, making sure it says just the ”right thing,” but then that just means I don’t send it soon enough. So, this email is coming to you rough and filled with emotion. You were AMAZING today! I can’t thank you enough for being my partner in crime and also my support during this wonderful event to honor our friend! I know in my heart that he was touched—as was everyone else in the room. When I walked him in to the Y this morning, he was barely shuffling along, but when he left he was a man who was 10 feet tall—WOW! He told me he’d see me tomorrow for work!

We don’t tell folks enough what they mean to us, but know that I value and treasure the years we have known each other; and I LOVE that you come in my office to say hello or just show off in your wife beater shirt. You’re a special man and, thankfully, I get to call you my friend! I appreciate you!

Receiving this was the “first fruit” of coming out of the wilderness for me, and I was humbled and grateful.

I have not become who I am by leading a soft, conflict-free life—not by a long shot. It’s because of how I’ve reacted to my problems—most of which I have brought on myself by making poor choices. Bowing my knee is what has made me who I am, and I’ve been forced to them countless times. It has also made me a man of substance—not a man who has compromised or settled for a mediocre life. I couldn’t do that, and neither should you.

Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ (James 45:6b)

—Jack Watts

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Scrupulous Honesty

Refer to Step 7: I will make a detailed, written account of my abusive experiences, as well as my subsequent behavior. I commit to being as thorough and honest as I’m able.

 

Chase after truth like hell and you’ll free yourself, even though you never touch its coattails.

—Clarence Darrow

As you begin to write about your experiences, your state of mind will be your most important asset or your greatest liability, either helping or hindering you greatly. Obviously, you want it to help and not hurt.

Consequently, you need to recognize that this is not a time for vindication or for heaping blame upon others. In fact, it’s time for the exact opposite. To heal, you must abandon your insistence upon retribution. Step 7 is about you and your healing—not about “them.” If you insist on making it about how badly you have been wronged, you will make little progress. It’s as simple as that. You must abandon your bitterness, your need to be right, and your need for vindication.

Step 7 is a time to embrace your wounds—a time to acknowledge precisely who you are. Covering the truth with a blanket of self-righteousness never works in life, and it certainly will not work in recovery either. Avoid it at all costs, making a conscious choice to be the exact opposite. Be candid. Be transparent. Be proactively forthright.

In an effort to be self-protective, many wounded people try to fool themselves and others, constructing elaborate façades that bear little resemblance to the truth. They project an image, which is false, and try to make themselves and others believe it. Their façade becomes their reality.

Living a lie isn’t taking good care of yourself. If you want to heal, you must abandon denial and embrace the truth. It’s the only way. You have to be who you say you are, regardless of what that may be. Stop pretending to be somebody you are not. It never works, and it makes you look hypocritical.

Allow God’s healing touch to reach down and pick you up. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen. In fact, the Scriptures teach that the person who has been forgiven much is more capable of love than the one who has been forgiven little. All that is required is honesty—scrupulous honesty. With it, all things are possible. Without it, you’ll continue to languish, unfulfilled and unloved—even by yourself.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. (I John 1:6-7)

—Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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