Refer to Step 3: I accept that the responsibility for getting back on track is mine and no one else’s.
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: there is no one to blame.
—Erica Jong
In the many years I have been a Christian—some walking with the Lord, some not—I’ve noticed a large number of believers have an incorrect perspective on life. They attribute their difficulties, especially their interpersonal conflicts, to the Devil. They will say something like this: Satan really has a hold on that person’s life, or The Enemy has really been coming against me in this situation.
Because the Scriptures teach that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of wickedness, conflicts assume a cosmic significance, which often isn’t there. Occasionally, there may be some truth to it, but my experience tells me most of the problems come from the people themselves and not from the forces of darkness. It’s easy to blame the Devil for everything. It absolves the individual of taking responsibility for his or her own actions.
For your recovery to work the way it should, you must accept the responsibility for your actions and not take the easy way out by blaming Satan for them. It simply doesn’t work and, in most cases, it isn’t true. When a problem manifests itself, you must always look for your part in it—the sooner the better. If you’re being honest, you’ll usually find it.
If you’ve been foolish, admit it. Don’t deflect; don’t rationalize; and don’t project your problems onto another. Repudiate the darkness immediately and come to the light. Finally, do whatever is necessary to make amends to those you’ve offended.
It’s natural to want to avoid the responsibility for your actions but, as a child of God, your behavior must be different. If you are to become a useful person, immediately looking to the Lord has to be your engrained response.
When difficulty comes, as they always do, your reaction is what determines your growth. It will also determine how valuable your recovery will be.
If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. (I John 1:8-10)
My biggest stumbling block has been my unwillingnesss to confront my own sin just as you say in this post. When I have seriously done so I have been embarissed to notice how protecting myself from seeing and confronting my own sin has blinded me to the truth that I collaborate with others to keep me safe from my own sin and so avoid renouncing it. By drawing others in I drag them into the same net that caught me.
My daily prayer is to be willing to see my own sin and confess it. I agree with Jesus that sin is bad news. I agree with my baptismal vows and choose to renounce evil even if I am not so good at it as I would like to be.
Sometimes all I manage is to wallow in my own mire but I try hard not to drag others into it. If they fall in with me I try to aplogise for getting them into this same mess. I then pray God sends someone with enough sense to see the way out if I find I am truly stuck. Next I pray for a heart and ears willing to hear the truth when it comes as often it will be uncomfortable. Occasionally the truth will be an unexpected comfort and then I am able to laugh at myself and that often provides me with enough strenght to let go of my sin and take hold of a helping hand with genuine gratitude.
Thanks for your common sense post Jack. I always like to read what you have to say even though it can be uncomfortable to hear some days : )