My life Is Shipwrecked
I’m not where I want to be—not even close.
I’m not what I want to be, thought I would be,
Or the person I am capable of being.
Even worse, the gap is widening—not narrowing.
If I’m being honest with myself,
Which I repeatedly try to avoid,
I’m constantly excuse my poor behavior
And my negative attitude that is rebellious to You.
I don’t like what I have become—not even a little.
I’m a pathetic substitute for what
I should be—for what I want to become.
Nearly everyone who knows me well
Recognizes that my life is shipwrecked.
It may look acceptable to casual observers,
But to those who know me, they recognize
The truth and shake their heads in dismay.
Why shouldn’t they? I can’t fault them;
I don’t like what I see either.
My relationship with You has disintegrated,
Even though I pretend that it hasn’t.
This is who I am—who I have become.
I want to admit my faults, which are many, to You.
I am no longer willing to pretend—to deceive myself.
I have traveled the wrong road for so long,
I’m not certain I can ever follow the correct path again.
This scares me so much hat I have been unwilling
To face the truth about myself, choosing instead
To hide my face from You in shame.
I know I can’t change on my own.
Without Your help, I have no chance at all.
Will You hold my hand and touch my heart?
Will You be there for me and not abandon me?
Without You, I can never make it on my own.