As you begin to write your experiences, your state of mind will be your most important asset or your greatest liability, either helping you or hindering you greatly. Obviously, you want it to help and not hurt you.
Therefore, this is not a time for vindication or for heaping blame and condemnation upon others. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. To heal, you must abandon your insistence upon retribution. STEP 7 is about you and your healing—not about “them.” If you insist on making it about how badly you were wronged, you will not make much progress. It’s as simple as that. You must abandon your anger and your need to be right.
Instead of vindication, this is a time to embrace your wounded-ness—a time to acknowledge precisely who you are. Covering the truth with a blanket of self-righteousness never works in life, and it certainly will not work in recovery either. Avoid it at all costs, and make a conscious choice to be the precise opposite. Be candid. Be transparent. Be proactively forthright.
In an effort to be self-protective, many wounded people try to fool themselves and others, constructing elaborate façades that bears little resemblance to the truth. They project an image, which is false, and try to make themselves and others believe it. This façade becomes their reality.
Living a lie isn’t taking good care of yourself, and if you want to heal, you have to abandon your denial of reality and embrace the truth. It’s the only way. You have to be who you say you are, regardless of what that may be. Stop pretending to be what you are not.
Be who you are, and allow God’s healing touch to reach down and pick you up. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen. In fact, the Scriptures teach that the person who has been forgiven much is more capable of love than the one who has been forgiven little. All that’s required is honesty—scrupulous honesty. With it, all things are possible. Without it, you’ll continue to languish, unfulfilled and unloved—even by yourself.