In my pain and anguish,
When my heart was broken,
And I thought darkness would overwhelm me,
I felt lost and all alone, but I wasn’t.
Despite how I felt, You were there with me,
Diligently working in my heart,
Stripping me of my pretense,
Stripping me of my arrogance,
Stripping me of my self-serving ways,
Each of which had made a wasteland of my life.
Although Your child, I had no concern or awareness
Of the direction You intended for me.
My only concern was relief from my discomfort,
But Your purpose was far greater than mine.
I thought my anguish would never end
And that I would not smile at the future again,
But I was wrong about that, as well.
I knew the desire of my heart
And asked You repeatedly to grant it,
But You never did, which still saddens me.
What I have gained through my loss, however,
Has had more value than I ever imagined.
Out of the abyss, You have raised me up,
Placed my feet on solid, immovable rock,
And strengthened me with power in
The inner man—at the center of my being.
No longer fearful or timid, I’m resolute and confident.
Instead of apprehension, I am calm, strong, and sane.
And it’s all because You have changed my heart—
Transforming my perspective about what has value.
Without Your loving, consistent care,
I would never have learned my lessons
And would have been destined to repeat my mistakes
Over and over again, like an unreasoning animal
And not like a man—not like a child of the King.
To redeem what I had completely wasted,
You reached into the pit—into the mire
And emotional carnage of my life—
Redeeming my future by giving me hope.