Father,
Now that I have written down
The exact nature of my behavior,
And have spelled out my shortcomings,
I feel so naked and vulnerable.
Reviewing my words, I feel relieved,
But also sorrowful and insecure.
Now that I have brought to light
My deepest, most intimate secrets,
I am so exposed, and fear rejection and ridicule.
Perhaps others will mock me—
Just like my religious abusers have in the past.
I know that is not a realistic fear,
But it still fills me with apprehension and foreboding.
I know that You will absolve my self-defeating behavior,
But people are rarely as forgiving and generous as You.
Father, prepare the heart of my friend—
To be the type of confidant I need in my recovery.
When I reveal myself to that person,
When I open my heart and become completely vulnerable,
I pray that Your love and acceptance will be
What I experience and not the condemnation
Of someone who is judgmental and self-righteous.
Because I have worked so hard and come so far,
Please help me choose a friend that will listen
And not judge me based on my failures.
As I continue on my recovery journey,
Help me remain vulnerable and forthright,
Which I know is Your will for my life.
Stand with me, Lord, so that I can
Boldly state the exact nature of my heart
With humility, without being either fearful or timid.
Heal the broken places and relieve
The burden of guilt I have been carrying
Deep within me for such a long time.
How great is Thy goodness, which Thou has stored up for those who fear Thee, which Thou hast wrought for those who take refuge in Thee, before the sons of men! Thou dost hide them in the secret place of Thy presence from the conspiracies of man; Thou dost keep them secretly in a shelter from the strif of tongues. (Psalm 31:19-20)
To learn more about about the subject, go to: Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.
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