As I thoughtfully look about,
Appraising my circumstances,
Which are not what I desired—
Not at all what I had planned—
I don’t understand where You are leading,
Nor do I understand why I must travel
My path in such isolation as a solitary figure.
I wanted my life to be so different—
To be easier and more carefree—
But that has not been what I’ve experienced.
As I see the smiling faces of others—
Those who talk about You as if they
Know You intimately but do not—
I wonder why their lives appear to be
Free from disappointment and conflict,
While mine has been stressful and difficult.
I wonder if I will ever experience joy again?
Father, tell me when will Your pruning hand
Be finished with its relentless alterations?
When will I awaken from darkness and despair,
To a bright, sunny day, filled with promise—
Free from sorrow—free from loss?
When will You move in a mighty
Redemptive way, to strengthen me?
When will You say to my enemies,
This is my child—my beloved child—
Whom I will strengthen and establish with power.
Let all who wonder know that it is I—
The great “I Am” who has done this work.
Father, I know that You are in charge;
That You have numbered my days
And each of my time is in Your hands.
It is within Your power to change everything—
To allow my life to have far more meaning.
Please finish Your transformations quickly,
So that I can withstand the swirling wind
With its foreboding clouds that has encompassed me.
But now, O Lord, Thou art our Father, we are the clay, and Thou our potter; and all of us are the work of Thy hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, O Lord, neither remember iniquity forever; behold, look now, all of us are Thy people. (Isaiah 64:8-9)