As I grit my teeth defiantly,
My anger is so consuming that
Toxic emotions rule my soul.
My fury clouds my judgment,
And my smile is far from my face.
Dark clouds diminish my countenance,
Warning others to stay clear.
I entertain vivid thoughts of revenge,
Of making my abusers pay a terrible price
For the injustice they’ve exacted upon me.
When I look in the mirror, I don’t like
The person I see—the person I have become.
I spend my days feeding my anger,
Amusing myself with hostile thoughts,
Which run through my mind repeatedly.
I’m consumed by hateful thoughts of retribution.
I know that I’m not ready to forgive—not yet.
While this hostile mindset has dominion over me,
I need Your help more than ever.
Father, move me through this period quickly,
And help me to forgive—just like I’ve been forgiven.
While my anger dominates my consciousness,
Keep me from these four injurious activities:
From saying harsh words that can never be retrieved;
From wasting hours, fantasizing about reprisals;
From self-defeating behavior to assuage my pain;
And from desiring evil to come upon my adversaries.
This you know, my beloved brethren. But let every one be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)