I’ve wanted relationships and possessions
You have not intended for me to have.
I’ve wanted them so badly
That I’ve come before You
Numerous times—whining and begging—
Beseeching You to bless my desires.
And all You did was refuse.
I would not accept Your answer,
And continued my relentless pursuit
Of making my will be Your own.
Question: Have you ever pursued a purpose like this? If so, what was the outcome, and what did you learn from it?
What do I need to unlearn from my experience? After we leave our abusive situation, before we become fit and useful, we need to unlearn the errors we readily accepted as true, while engrossed in our deception. Until we do, we will flounder, and our efforts to be productive will be close to useless. It does us no good to throw stones at the abuser. Our efforts need to be much more productive than that.
Journal: Take a few minutes and write about what you’ve needed to unlearn. Be specific about what behaviors and attitudes you need to change.
If you insist upon understanding why your abuse occurred in the first place, you are destined to frustration, bitterness, and failure. At some point, many people understand why, but most never do. God knows; that’s for certain, and He’s in charge of the outcome. If you can accept that, you’re on your way. If you can’t, you’ll experience heartache, whether you like it or not.
Question: Have you experienced heartache like this? Think about how insistent you have been with God. Does it make you wish you had not been this way? If so, tell Him about it.
If you don’t understand what God wants from you, purify your heart. Forgive the person who has offended you. Put away the self-defeating behavior which has you enslaved. Begin to purify your heart, and you will understand what God wants from you better than you ever have. You will begin to see God’s hand in practically everything—that’s His promise to each of us.
Journal: Forgiving others is the key to being forgiven. Write down the names of people you harbor resentment toward, and be sure and keep the list.
The Scriptures teach that we will never be stretched beyond our capabilities. Intellectually, I believe this is true, but it seems to me that God’s perspective on my capabilities is too high, as He constantly stretching me. Most of the time, I wish He wouldn’t. I want Him to use me, but in a nice way—not a hard way. But, from the depth of my being, I also know that my life is not destined to be easy. As I’ve come to realize, pursuing His way always seems to be a stretch.
Question: Do you feel like this? Have you been stretched so far that you’re certain you’ll break. If so, tell God exactly how you feel about it.