You came and shook me,
Knowing my vulnerabilities like no other.
In an instant—in a flash,
I was undone.
I was not where I thought I was.
I was not who I claimed to be.
When you revealed me to myself,
I stood naked—laid bare to Your eyes
And I cannot hide from Your face,
From Your truth, or from Your scrutiny.
Journal: Have you ever had your life become unsettled like this? If so, take a few minutes to write about that experience.
When a person casts his or her vision of God aside, personal restraint is usually cast aside as well. That’s why wounded people abuse alcohol, prescriptions, excessive eating, promiscuity, and pornography so frequently. It helps them ease their pain, but it also numbs their conscience and their higher calling. As the downward spiral accelerates, they become self-fulfilling prophecies, which allows their abuser’s to smile with delight, knowing that “no good would come” from them anyway.
Journal: Becoming very specific, write about your acting out behavior. What was it and, more importantly, is it still a part of your life? If so, also write about its hold on you.
In the aftermath of abuse, many suffer from perpetual low self-esteem, which diminishes their value to themselves and to others. In their hearts, they are convinced they are broken beyond repair; and they are certain they will never be emotionally healthy, happy, or normal again.
Question: How badly has your self-esteem suffered as a result of your abuse? With one being the lowest, on a scale of 1-to-10, where would you put yourself?
It’s in the deep valleys where you learn to trust Him. It’s where you develop a richer, more confidant faith, which is definitely His will. Successful perseverance makes you a useful person in God’s Kingdom. When you finally realize this, you will also learn to “glory in your tribulation.” Until you reach this understanding, however, much of your travail will seem unintelligible.
Question: How often has it occurred to you that God might have a higher purpose for you than you are now living? If so, do you have an inkling of what that might be?
If your walk with God is shallow, if your beliefs are simplistic, and if you are unwilling to have your faith challenged or questioned, your recovery will be weak, fruitless, and easily derailed. To become everything you want to be and are capable of being, you must develop a strong relationship with the Lord. There’s simply no other way. You have to own it yourself. There’s no way to recover without it.
Question: With one being the lowest, on a scale of 1-to-10, where would you put your relationship with the Lord? Be honest about this. If it’s below eight, there’s a lot of work for you to do. You realize this is true, right?