Father,
I know You’ve forgiven my transgressions,
Which have been so egregious,
But I can’t seem to forgive myself.
I can’t divest myself of culpability.
My sin is ever before me,
Relentlessly putting me down,
Telling me that I’m no good,
Which in my heart I believe to be true.
Question: Is this how you feel? On a scale of 1-to-10, with one being the least, how much shame do you feel? Has it gotten better, or do you just not think about it?
Instead of living in denial, make a conscious commitment to embrace your failure—make it your own. Accept it; acknowledge it; and move on. Never allow your past failures to corrupt your future. Stop living in shame, looking back at the past, which you are powerless to change. That’s what God’s forgiveness and mercy is all about, and it’s where recovery begins. This is the bottom you must reach before real growth can begin.
Question: Have you reached your bottom yet? Wouldn’t you like to get rid of your sense of shame once and for all?
The only way to regain what has been lost is to come to God Almighty, the God of the Trinity, and develop your relationship with Him, based on Scriptural truth. Although unscrupulous men and women may have twisted your thinking about God, for full recovery to occur, you must regain an understanding of God that is based on how He has revealed Himself and not how others have portrayed Him to be. You have to learn once again that God can be trusted. Without relearning this, your recovery will only be partial at best.
Journal: Write about the shame you feel—the awful feelings that haunt you. Also, write about how you have been shamed by your abusers.
Try to take life as it comes. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Make a commitment to do the “right” thing; and if you have difficulty figuring out what that might be, just know that it’s often your most difficult choice. Stay loving, and don’t take everything personally. God isn’t choosing to put you in harm’s way. He is allowing your struggles to deepen your character so that you can develop compassion, which will allow you to take care of the needs of others. At the end of the day, when you can accept your trials with grace and dignity, the person who will benefit the most from them is you.
Question: Can you begin to see how your experience might help other people who have been shamed and abused just like you have been? If so, start thinking about ways you might help someone else.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
To understand, than to be understood.
To love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
Journal: After being abused, being self-absorbed is quite common. As you spend time in recovery, however, you learn to think of others as well. In your situation, how would that look? Write about it.
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