Stop Blaming and Get Busy Healing
Refer to Step 3: I accept that the responsibility for getting back on track is mine and no one else’s.
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
—Sir Winston Churchill
When you’ve experienced abuse, regardless of the type, you inevitably lose your ability to trust. It just goes with the territory. Some people never regain their ability to trust and lead half-lives, ruled by suspicion and distrust—sometimes a great deal of it. If your abuse has come from a trusted spiritual leader, you’ve probably lost your ability to trust God as well.
Although the abuser will have to answer to God for the problems he or she created, you also have substantial accountability. Regardless of where the problem began, it’s still your responsibility to get back to the place where you began—trusting God. It’s easy to blame someone for your situation, but that will not solve the problem, and it doesn’t help you move forward, getting back to a life filled with peace, joy, and fulfillment.
Being in this situation is obviously very difficult, but the alternative is even worse. Once you’ve had a deep experience with the love of God, it’s impossible to settle for anything less. And chafing at the bit does nothing but waste precious years of your life—your years not your abusers.
Why not look at this as a time to return to your first love—to return to the Lord? You’ve already experienced a measure of recovery, but you know your potential is far greater. It requires a lot of work, but if you put your heart into it, you’ll never regret your decision to move forward. What do you say? Why not let today be the day when you become committed to improving your life?
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. (I Corinthians 15:58)