Father,
Those who know your Word better than I,
Have rebuked me repeatedly, chastening me
With contempt, ridicule, and shame.
In my heart, I have cowed before them,
Never questioning their real intent.
Slinking away in defeat and despair,
I vowed to never return—to remain aloof,
From You and from anything religious.
Journal: How does this make you feel? In your life, how accurate is it? Write out your answer.
Your life has value and, once you have experienced God’s accepting, forgiving touch, you’ll want to help others—just like you’ve been helped. Having been derailed will no longer continue to thwart your destiny. Like Israel after the Holocaust, you will learn to say with confidence, “Never Again.”
Journal: Continue writing about how you will never allow yourself to submit to religious abuse again.
I can think of several times in my life when I thought I had been stretched far beyond my capacity, but I was mistaken. My capacity was greater than I ever imagined. I whined, moaned, and begged God to make my life easier, but the strain continued until His purpose was complete—not mine. After the crisis abated, I knew I was stronger, but not during it. When I was in the middle of it, it was all I could do to survive—one day at a time.
Question: Does this sound familiar? Has this been your experience as well? Is it what your life is like right now?
After being shamed and ridiculed, many people’s sense of low self-esteem kicks in, and the wounded person reels emotionally from the experience. But that’s not all. After having endured the first instance of verbal abuse, the abusee has a tendency to accept guilt from then on—regardless of whether or not there is a valid reason to do so. It’s simply part of their character make up to accept blame.
Journal: Are you this type of person? If so write about it. If not, skip it.
Once you are no longer angry with God, nor blame Him for your abuse, you will begin to see life more clearly—from a healthier, more accurate perspective. Then, when you least expect it, it will happen. Intuitively, you’ll know it is the Holy Spirit renewing your mind and your heart, providing wisdom. Everything will finally come together. When this occurs, and it will, you’ll be undone. Instantly, you’ll realize precisely how much God loves you; and this realization will be overwhelming.
Question: Has this happened for you yet? If so, tell God how grateful you are. If not, ask Him to reveal Himself to in this way.
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