Your Abuse Had a Purpose
Refer to Step 6: I make a commitment to turn away from my pride and refuse to become like those who have abused me. I abandon my desire to spread malice because of my pain and anger, and I chose to relinquish my right to be self-absorbed.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here is a question for you: to whom does the Kingdom of God belong? This isn’t rhetorical. Understanding the answer is the key to your recovery, and you’ll flounder until you grasp the answer.
It belongs to the poor in spirit—to people who don’t think more highly of themselves than they ought to think. It belongs to paupers. The politically correct term for this would probably be “the homeless.”
God’s Kingdom—the only place that really matters—does not belong to those who are beautiful, successful, or wealthy. It belongs to those who are broken—to those who have been crushed, discarded, and cast aside. It belongs to those whom the more affluent consider to be expendable and useless.
When you first experienced your abuse, isn’t that how you felt—broken, humiliated, and discarded? Even if your abusive experience was some time ago, isn’t this description still occasionally accurate?
If so, then the Kingdom of God belongs to you. Or, more accurately, it can belong to you. Your experience has probably left you spiritually bankrupt, which can be helpful. It means you’re half way there, but that’s all—just half way. In some ways, it’s the most difficult half. Having been abused and shattered, you know what it’s like to have your spirit broken. The difficult part is realizing that this was a good for you and not bad.
It allowed you to recognize suffering in others and allows you to be less self-centered. It makes you more interested in your fellow human beingss. By having experienced abuse, you can develop empathy and compassion for others, which are character qualities woefully lacking in most modern day Christians.
The righteous cry and the Lord hears, and delivers him out of all his troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:17-18)