MY PRAYER: Father,
I’ve wanted relationships and possessions
That You have not intended for me to have.
I have wanted them so badly that
I’ve come before You repeatedly—
Pleading, begging, whining, and carping—
Beseeching You to grant my desires.
But all You have done is say, “No.”
Refusing to accept Your answer as final,
I have continued my relentless badgering,
Insisting that You make my will be Your own.
In my willfulness and stubbornness, I maintained
That right was wrong, and wrong was right,
While deceiving myself into actually believing
My purposes were noble, honorable, and altruistic.
In my foolishness, I have done my best
To convince myself that my way has been righteous,
But You remained unmoved, refusing to acquiesce.
Still unwilling to accept Your will over my own,
I manipulated events until frustration
And exhaustion finally overwhelmed me,
But You never budged or wavered in Your decision.
Now, at the end of all my peevish fretting,
I bow my knee and accept Your decision.
“No” it is, and “No” it shall be forevermore.
There are still parts of me that regret this,
But You are Almighty God, and I am not.
Now that I have resubmitted myself
To Your leadership, rather than to my own,
I have begun to view my situation differently.
No longer reluctant to be submissive, I acknowledge
That Your way is superior to my own,
Which I should have done from the beginning,