Finding Purpose in Sorrow
The first step in overcoming mistakes is to admit them—AA Slogan
Here I am once again,
At the end of myself,
Feeling like a fool,
Feeling like I haven’t learned a thing.
It seems as if I’ve been here so often
That it is my permanent dwelling place.
It seems like my times of sorrow and suffering
Have far surpassed my times of contentment.
Be gracious to me, O my God,
Let me know what You have in store for my life.
Assure me that my pain has been purposeful—
That my years have not been a total waste,
Devoid of meaning . . . devoid of value.
I want to cast my anxieties upon You
But when I do, this is not where they remain.
Instead, my fears haunt my mind constantly,
Exacting a terrible, debilitating toll,
Impacting every fiber of my being.
I want to be strong, but I am not.
I am so weak and so used to defeat
That sorrow has become my daily lot.
Rescue me, Father. Pour Your grace upon me.
Allow me to know joy in the days ahead.
Let my cup overflow with blessing.
Allow my life to once again have value.
Instruct me about what my future will hold,
With reassurance from Your Holy Spirit.
I fear that my days will end
Before any good will materialize,
Leaving a wasted, purposeless existence.
Without Your active intervention,
All will be lost and irredeemable.
I know this; I’m certain of it.
As I wake in the morning and retire at night,
This realization is ever before me,
But it is not where I want my life to be.
Neither is it Your desire for me,
Arouse Thyself, why doest Thou sleep, O Lord? Awake, do not reject us forever. Why dost Thou hide Thy face, and forget our affliction and our oppression? For our soul has sunk down into the dust; our body cleaves to the earth. Rise up, be our help, and redeem us for the sake of Thy righteousness. (Psalm 44:23-26)