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Archive for August, 2018


COMMON SENSE—Scandal in Catholicism: When a victimized boy of a pedophile priest grows up, this is his prayer: “I don’t want anything to do with that priest ever again. I don’t want anything to do with the Church; and I don’t want anything to do with You, God, because you let this happen to me, and I didn’t deserve it.”
For those who have been sexually abused by a pedophile priest, or by any other person having any spiritual or religious authority over them, this is the typical prayer or mindset of those who have been targeted. The anger of the victims, which is completely justified and even appropriate, is directed at the perpetrator, the religious institution, and at Almighty God.
Obviously, the perpetrator, who robbed the innocence of a child, purely for perverted gratification, is guilty of behavior that in not only sexually abusive, but it is also illegal. Not having reached the legal age of consent, what these pedophile priests have done is clearly criminal behavior. In Pennsylvania, they have raped and sodomized more than 1,000 children, but the consequences of this spiritual abuse runs much deeper than the physical act. By violating these children, these reprobate priests have also raped the minds and souls of their victims, leaving them to suffer from the pain of a lifetime of emotional issues.
Robbed of their innocence, these victimized children have difficulty ever getting past their violation. For some, it’s impossible. Eventually, when the current victim cast aside for a newer, younger child, those who are discarded are left to face life without the capacity to ever be able to trust again.
The victim’s anger at the Roman Catholic Church is equally justified. Like sleazy politicians, for decades the Church’s hierarchy has been more interested in covering up the scandalous behavior of more than 600 pedophile priests than it has been in protecting its flock from predatory behavior. By moving pedophiles from one parish to another, once their deviancy has been discovered, the Church never adequately addressed the consequences of the priest’s aberration.
Instead, they provided the pedophile priest with a new crop of innocent children to be sexually exploited. Because those in authority refused to deal with an unpleasant issue, which was their responsibly, the Church shares equally in the guilt of this massive pattern of criminal behavior. The actions of the pedophile priests should have been exposed to the light of day for the entire world to see. By not being transparent, they are paying for their error in judgment.
The victims’ anger at Almighty God, however, is another issue. Although understandable, by blaming God, rather than seeking Him out, the wounded deprive themselves of the Source to achieve lasting healing. Because of their wounding, they lash out at God without thinking it through. If they did, and we are encouraging them to do so, their futures would be much more fulfilling than their past experiences have been.
—Jack Watts
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MY PRAYER: Father,

Having been used, abused, and discarded,

By those who insisted they spoke in Your name,

But most assuredly did not,

My self-worth has suffered significantly.

Having internalized this shaming charge,

Which has been levied maliciously against me,

I have acted in ways contrary to my beliefs,

Which You have set forth in Your Word—

Convictions that reside deep within my soul.

Having tried to run from You for so long,

I now see how flawed my judgment has been.

Returning to You has required me to renew my mind—

To look at life from an entirely different perspective.

Thank You for enlightening my tortured soul,

For revealing that You have good things in store

For me rather than the calamity I fear and dread.

 

At times, I still have trouble believing You—

Trusting that the purpose You have planted

Within me is real and will come to fruition.

The stinging indictment of my abusers

Has found fertile ground in my heart.

It continues to resonate, telling me that

I am a person without value—without worth.

When I begin to internalize this message,

Flood me with Your love, Your truth, and Your wisdom.

Let my heart believe You when You say,

“You are my child—loved and valued.

And I most assuredly have a purpose for your life.

Whenever you have doubts, come to Me,

And I will remind you of your value,”

Amen.

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PRAYER: When You Are Fearful


 

MY PRAYER: Father,
I know You have not given me a spirit of fear.
Your Word assures me that You haven’t,
But this doesn’t mean I’m not fearful. I am.
Sometimes, my fear is so consuming
It sends a cold chill through my body—
Through my soul—through the essence of my being.
On the outside, it doesn’t show, but on the inside,
Where my insecurities and vulnerabilities reside,
I am undone. Every fiber of my being
Quakes with foreboding, immobilizing me,
Consuming me with dread.

When will it end? When will my heart know peace?
When will terror of the unknown and of economic calamity
Cease to grip my soul? Apprehensions toss me about,
Robbing me of sleep, robbing me of purpose,
Robbing me of a meaningful, productive life.
You know me intimately, Lord.
You know my thoughts and my anxieties,
But I cannot find You in this dismal pit,
Which has become my daily existence.
Assure me that I will experience joy once again—
That I will regain my self-confidence—
That I will smile confidently at what is to come?
Don’t allow my fears about the future to be my portion
In life, destroying everything that has meaning and value.

Father, You know what the future holds, but I do not.
What will my destiny be? Will my disquietude abate?
Will tranquility be mine again, or just a distant memory?
The answers are not in my possession. Although I desire
To know the future, I have no control over events,
Even though I deceive myself into pretending that I do.
My fears and anxieties rob me of my faith. Without Your help,
I lack the strength to overcome this limitation.
You see me as I really am and not how I pretend to be.
I need Your help. Rescue me, Lord; rescue me quickly,
Lest my trepidations consume everything of value in me,
Amen.

Jack’s Books: mcgeeandme.net/books/

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PRAYER: When You Feel Ashamed


MY PRAYER: Father,
My heart aches,
And I feel so unworthy
To come before You.
I feel worthless and by the
Contemptuous smirks of others,
I’m certain they are correct.
I feel so ashamed of myself,
And nobody is there to say,
“It’s okay. God loves you no matter what.”
I feel like I need to cringe and shrink away—
Never again to hold my head high.
I feel like I should skulk about blindly in the darkness,
Rather than boldly embracing the light.
I feel like You don’t love me, Father,
And I wonder, how could You?
I know I don’t love myself, but I also know
That my feelings are a lie and not the truth.
I know that in the depth of my self-pity,
You are always with me, always vigilant,
Always available, always telling me,
“My child, I know what you’ve done.
I know how badly you feel.
I know you believe your life has no value,
But this is not how I see you—not at all.
In spite of everything, I love you
Just the way you are.
This is why I sent My Son.
He paid the price for your shame,
Washing you whiter than snow.
Now, leave the past behind.
Hold your head high and walk
With Me confidently into the future.
I still have a plan for you—
A plan filled with hope and promise,”
Amen.

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COMMON SENSE: There are many places in the world that are unsafe, but attending a church service should not be one of them. For a Catholic, attending Mass should be the safest place on earth, but this has not been the case in Pennsylvania and many other locations throughout the United States—not if you are a young boy or a young girl.
Instead of being served by the priesthood, thousands of children have had their innocence destroyed by sexual predators masquerading as servants of Christ. Using the cloth as camouflage, these priests exploited the young, the naive, and the trusting for their own perverted carnal pleasures, with careless disregard for the destruction they left behind, primarily to young boys.
What these pedophile priests did not only raped these boys bodies, but they also raped their souls, wounding these children for a lifetime. Most of these kids, who are now adults, will never be the same. They are broken—doomed to suffer emotional anguish for the remainder of their lives.
Equally as guilty as the predator priests is the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church. Instead of exposing this darkness and driving the predators out, as they should have done, the Church chose to cover up these grotesque sins for decades, leaving an unbelievable wake of destruction in their path.
This should never have happened, but it did. Now, Catholicism has suffered another major blow—just as it did in Boston and other areas where these predator priests were given cover to rape, to exploit, and to pervert others. Obviously, there will be numerous lawsuits, but financial compensation will not be able to restore the innocence of these victims. Nothing can do that.
As I think about it, my spirit is deeply grieved, but I had to write about it.
—Jack Watts

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PRAYER: When We Are Desperate


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MY PRAYER: Father,
Having been wounded at the core of my being,
I have stopped seeking You—
Stopped praying, stopped looking to You
For discernment, guidance, and wisdom.
I haven’t wanted anything to do with You.
I feel so angry, hurt, betrayed, and humiliated.
In my pain, I have acted in shameful ways.
I have tried to hide my behavior
From You and from everybody else.
I didn’t want my life to be like this.
I didn’t want to become the person I am.
My sins have gone over my head,
And I am unable to control them,
Which I foolishly believed I could.
They control me, and I know it.
I can no longer hide this truth from You.
I am weary of concealing my face in shame,
Of churning my anger and my bitterness—
Of medicating my pain with dissipation.
I don’t want the wounds from my past,
Which I have foolishly nurtured with vice,
To control my life in the future.
I want to stop my downward cycle.
I want to change my behavior completely.
 
Father, I am in a deep pit, and I know it.
Even worse, I cannot see an easy way of extrication.
I have routinely blamed others for my plight,
Choosing to embrace the role of being a victim,
Convincing myself that I have been faultless,
But I can no longer maintain this self-serving delusion.
I have to admit the truth to You, as well as to myself.
I need Your help. Without You, my life will have
Neither meaning nor value.
 
Help me to end my self-defeating behavior,
Which exercises dominion over me, so that I can
Once again be clean in mind and in body, for I know,
Only You can restore me to wholeness and sanity,
Amen.
 
Jack’s Books: mcgeeandme.net/books

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MY PRAYER: Father,
My soul aches, and my spirit is weak.
Heartache has consumed me,
And I am fearful of the future.
Those who know You much better than I,
Have rebuked me, chastening me
With contempt, ridicule, and shame.
In my heart, I have cowed before them,
Never questioning their motives or intent.
Slinking away in defeat and despair,
I have vowed to never return—to remain aloof
From them, from You, and from their religiosity.
I have wandered far from Your Word,
To a place where there is no joy,
No peace, no kindness, and no future.
Time has not been my friend.
My mistakes have brought me low.
My accusers know Your Word,
But they do not know Your forgiving Spirit.
Father, I need Your help to return home,
To come back to where I belong.
Help me become willing to nurture
A real and substantive relationship with You.
Strengthen me with power in the inner man.
Allow me to stand strong.
Allow me to be bold and confident.
Allow me to be the person You created me to be.
Don’t permit my accusers to continue
Having dominion over my wounded soul—
Lest my future be as bleak as my past,
Amen.

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