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Archive for December, 2019

MY PRAYER: Trusting God


Father,
I know You want me to trust You completely,
And I do—at least, some of the time.
Because of the things that have hurt me so deeply,
Coupled with of my struggles with feeling worthless,
I struggle to believe that You really love me—
That You accept me just the way I am,
Regardless of how wayward I have been.
I don’t see how You could or why You would want to.
Perhaps this is why I whine and remain timid,
Even though Your desire is for me to be
Strong, confident, and self-assured, which I am not.
I desire inner strength, but this is rarely an option.
Father, how could You love someone like me?
I simply cannot comprehend this; it is beyond me.
Such love surpasses my ability to understand or grasp.
Your word says You love me despite everything,
Even when my self-defeating behavior
Has held dominion over me for so long.
As I recognize how faithful You are,
My trust increases and becomes sounder,
But it still isn’t where it needs to be—not really.
I pretend to be strong—to be supremely confident,
But I’m not nearly the person on the inside
That I appear to be on the outside.
I profess to be what I am not—
To be far more secure than I really am.
I even try to fool myself,
But You know each of my frailties,
Which I attempt to mask and conceal from others.
I don’t know why You care about me so much,
When I don’t even care that much about myself.
This is a mystery I doubt I will never grasp,
But I’m humbly grateful that You do.
In my quiet moments, which I attempt to avoid,
I try to comprehend such love and caring, but I cannot.
All I can do is accept that it is true, and I do,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: Father,
Now that I’ve opened myself up completely,
Being as honest and transparent as I know how to be,
Having also admitted my faults to another,
I ask that You heal my pain completely.
Change anything in me that You desire.
You are Almighty God; and I am not.
I know how powerless I am to control
What will happen in my future.
Father, I am weary of walking a path
That has not been ordained by You.
To complete the process of purging my life
From all that remains toxic to my soul,
I recognize there is one final step I need to take.
I need to forgive those who have hurt me—
Totally, completely, irreversibly, and forever.
Just as You have forgiven me—I forgive them.
I release them—just as I have been released.
I have churned anger and bitterness in my soul
For far too long, paying a heavy price
For maintaining my grudges and refusing to forgive.
Foolishly, I have believed I was chastising
My abusers, by spitefully withholding my pardon,
But the only person I have punished is myself.
I realize this and no longer desire bitterness to nurture malice.
Give me the strength to lay aside my anger and my acrimony.
Allow me to walk into the future unencumbered
By the debilitating shackles that have enslaved me for so long,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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RECOVERY: Since most alcoholics and addicts self-medicate to alleviate pain, consistent, repeated work is needed to ferret out the origin of each problem. Negative self-talk nurtures painful emotions that establish debilitating beliefs, which makes fulfillment in life virtually impossible. The good news is that you can stop thinking about yourself in self-defeating ways and begin seeing yourself through God’s eyes. It can be done. You probably see a great deal of positive fruit already.
Like everything of value in life, transforming your patterns requires a great deal of effort, but if you are committed and diligent, spiritual renewal will occur. For some, it will happen more quickly than it will for others, but it will happen. When it does, like the metamorphosis of a butterfly, you will marvel that you used to crawl and now you can fly.
Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER FOR AMERICA


Heavenly Father,
There is a Spirit of Malice
That has infected millions of those
Who live in this great nation we love so dearly.
Oozing bitterness and hatred from every pore,
They heap contempt upon You, Your children,
And the values that have held Americans together
Since the Pilgrims and Puritans founded this great
City on a Hill for the entire world to emulate.
Hating who we are and who we have been,
These scoffers ridicule the virtues and values
Of the faithful, joyously taking delight in doing so.
The faithful are being assailed, scorned, and taunted
By these self-righteous, evil cretins who champion
Wrong and call it right, while openly mock Your Name,
Rejecting Your Will and what is right with jubilation.
They militantly insist that the American people embrace
Beliefs that are a complete repudiation of everything
That Your Word has deemed to be right, honorable, and true.
Those of us who continue to stand for You and Your ways
Ask that You intervene against the Progressives in a mighty way.
Repudiate them and all the mischief they have schemed to cause.
Bless us and honor us for standing firmly against the pervasive
Nonsense that threatens to undue four hundred of history.
The hatred that the Progressives have for us is boundless,
But we know that You are far greater and more powerful
Than those who have embraced this damnable Spirit of Malice.
Pour out Your wrath upon them, Father, and give them
Full measure of Your righteous indignation, while simultaneously
Honoring those who have remained true to You and Your Son.
We ask this in Christ’s precious Name,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: For Self-Awareness


MY PRAYER: Father,
Here I am once again,
At the end of myself,
Feeling like a fool,
Feeling like I haven’t learned a thing.
It seems as if I’ve been here so often
That it is my permanent dwelling place.
It seems like my times of sorrow and suffering
Have far surpassed my times of joy and contentment.
Be gracious to me, O my God,
Let me know what You have in store for me.
Assure me that my pain has been purposeful—
That my years have not been a total waste,
Devoid of meaning, point, or value.
I want to cast my anxieties on You,
But when I do, they don’t remain there.
Instead, fearfulness haunts me relentlessly,
Exacting a terrible, debilitating toll on me,
Impacting every fiber of my being.
I want to be strong, but I am not.
I am so weak and so used to being defeated
That apprehensiveness has become my daily lot.
Rescue me, Father. Pour out Your grace upon me.
Allow me to know joy in the days ahead.
Let my cup overflow with Your blessings.
Allow my life to once again have value.
Instruct me about what my future will be,
With assurances from Your Holy Spirit.
I fear that my days will end
Before any good will materialize,
Leaving a wasted, purposeless existence.
Without Your active intervention,
All will be lost and irredeemable.
I know this; I feel certain this is true.
As I wake in the morning and retire at night,
This realization is ever before me,
But it is not where I want my life to be.
Neither is it Your desire for my future,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER for Deliverance


MY PRAYER: Father,
You’ve brought my soul out of bondage—
Out of the shackles of my willful
Self-defeating alcoholism for a purpose,
Which is beyond my capacity to fathom.
In the blindness of my pain and distress,
Which has consumed my days and nights,
I have implored You relentlessly,
Insisting that You ease my pain
And grant me the desires of my heart.
Regardless of my repeated complaints,
Which I have audaciously called prayers,
You have never relented—not even a little.
You have never honored my demands
Nor allowed me to have my own way,
Despite my fervent insistence that You do.
Unmoved, You have just gone about the task
Of transforming my heart from the inside out,
Changing me at the core of my being,
Making me a far better version of myself
Than I have ever been or even dreamed of being.
Now, as my distress and angst abate,
And my painful sorrows have relinquished,
For the first time I can look back, reflect,
And be thankful that You understand me
Better than I have understood myself.
Your plan for me is better than what I have desired.
As I come to fathom all that You have done,
I marvel at the changes You have orchestrated.
You have strengthened me, made me whole,
And made me grateful for all that has transpired.
Having no idea what the future holds or You have in store,
I give You permission to finish the work You have begun.
Let my petty, whining nature become a distant memory—
A remote recollection of my childish past—
As I seek Your will rather than dictating to You my own,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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