Fear is the absences of faith—AA Slogan
It is so easy to live my life each day,
Never taking the time to pay attention
To You or to all that You have done for me.
I haven’t disregarded You purposefully,
But I don’t make You a priority either.
Then, when everything seems to unravel,
When nothing works and everything
That can go wrong definitely does,
My focus becomes immediate and complete,
And I regret my capriciousness instantly.
Becoming panicked, fearful that my world will crumble,
I want You to “fix” things quickly and easily.
Being candid about my desires, it’s not You I want
As much as what You can do for me.
It grieves me to admit this, but it’s the truth.
In fear, pain, and discomfort, I call upon You
From the depth of my being, begging for relief and a way out.
Then, I hear Your voice, which gently but firmly tells me,
To be still and know that You are Almighty God—
That You are in charge of everything, and all is well.
I know that this should give me confidence,
And that I should cease from my anxious fretting,
But that’s not what happens at all—
That has never been my experience.
Instead, I become more intense and insistent than ever,
Beseeching, whining, moaning, and carping—
Anything to get Your attention and gain relief.
But no matter what I do or how animated I become,
Your answer never varies—not even a little.
As I sit in my solitude, in moments when all is quiet,
Your voice becomes even clearer, reminding me
To be still and to know that You are God.
If I were stronger, I would cease from all my striving,
But it isn’t in my nature to trust You that easily.
I wish this was my way, but it’s not.
I want to learn to rest, but this doesn’t happen
Until I’ve exhausted myself with distress, fear, and worry.
Finally, when I am completely spent and can no longer
Muster a complaint, I bow my knee, as I should have earlier,
And submit to the small quiet voice that never ceases to say,
Be still and know that I am there for you—that I am God Almighty,
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, and were at their wit’s end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distresses. He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet; So He guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His lovingkindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! (Psalm 107:27-31)