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Archive for the ‘God’ Category

MY PRAYER: For Self-Awareness


MY PRAYER: Father,
Here I am once again,
At the end of myself,
Feeling like a fool,
Feeling like I haven’t learned a thing.
It seems as if I’ve been here so often
That it is my permanent dwelling place.
It seems like my times of sorrow and suffering
Have far surpassed my times of joy and contentment.
Be gracious to me, O my God,
Let me know what You have in store for me.
Assure me that my pain has been purposeful—
That my years have not been a total waste,
Devoid of meaning, point, or value.
I want to cast my anxieties on You,
But when I do, they don’t remain there.
Instead, fearfulness haunts me relentlessly,
Exacting a terrible, debilitating toll on me,
Impacting every fiber of my being.
I want to be strong, but I am not.
I am so weak and so used to being defeated
That apprehensiveness has become my daily lot.
Rescue me, Father. Pour out Your grace upon me.
Allow me to know joy in the days ahead.
Let my cup overflow with Your blessings.
Allow my life to once again have value.
Instruct me about what my future will be,
With assurances from Your Holy Spirit.
I fear that my days will end
Before any good will materialize,
Leaving a wasted, purposeless existence.
Without Your active intervention,
All will be lost and irredeemable.
I know this; I feel certain this is true.
As I wake in the morning and retire at night,
This realization is ever before me,
But it is not where I want my life to be.
Neither is it Your desire for my future,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER for Deliverance


MY PRAYER: Father,
You’ve brought my soul out of bondage—
Out of the shackles of my willful
Self-defeating alcoholism for a purpose,
Which is beyond my capacity to fathom.
In the blindness of my pain and distress,
Which has consumed my days and nights,
I have implored You relentlessly,
Insisting that You ease my pain
And grant me the desires of my heart.
Regardless of my repeated complaints,
Which I have audaciously called prayers,
You have never relented—not even a little.
You have never honored my demands
Nor allowed me to have my own way,
Despite my fervent insistence that You do.
Unmoved, You have just gone about the task
Of transforming my heart from the inside out,
Changing me at the core of my being,
Making me a far better version of myself
Than I have ever been or even dreamed of being.
Now, as my distress and angst abate,
And my painful sorrows have relinquished,
For the first time I can look back, reflect,
And be thankful that You understand me
Better than I have understood myself.
Your plan for me is better than what I have desired.
As I come to fathom all that You have done,
I marvel at the changes You have orchestrated.
You have strengthened me, made me whole,
And made me grateful for all that has transpired.
Having no idea what the future holds or You have in store,
I give You permission to finish the work You have begun.
Let my petty, whining nature become a distant memory—
A remote recollection of my childish past—
As I seek Your will rather than dictating to You my own,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: Father,
As I have done so many times before,
I come before You feeling worthless,
Feeling like I can never hold my head high,
Feeling broken, scorned, and devalued.
The Scriptures teach that my transgressions,
Which have been so egregious, have been forgiven,
But I cannot seem to forgive myself for what I’ve done.
I can’t divest myself of my culpability.
My sin is ever before me,
Relentlessly wearing me down, grinding me down,
Telling me that I am not a good person,
Which in my heart I know is true.
Living in a dense fog of despair,
I wander through life purposelessly,
Never free from shame, never able to be myself,
Never able to experience sustained peace or joy.
I want to find pleasure in life and to cast aside
My debilitating low self-esteem,
But I have no power to accomplish this task,
Regardless of my earnest desire to do so—
Regardless of my determined efforts to believe differently.
My enemies scold me for my wrongdoing,
Wagging their condescending fingers in delight,
Mocking me with their disingenuous smiles,
Reminding me of what I have done—never letting go.
They seem confident my life will never have value again.
I loathe their reproachful, insincere counsel,
Which constantly reminds me of my failure.
It chips away at my self-worth each day, everyday.
Help me, Father. I have no place to turn but to You.
Forgive me and restore me to wholeness.
Help me regain my strength and sense of wellbeing.
Let my heart know joy and serenity once again.
Teach me to face my enemies with self-confidence,
Knowing that their condemnation no longer has merit—
Now when I have found complete forgiveness in You,
Amen.
—Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: Father,

As I observe those who call upon Your name

To fulfill their trivial, meaningless desires—

Those who are always craving and never satisfied,

Those who constantly demand more from You—

Like ravenous, all-consuming gluttons—

I’m amazed at how little they understand

Either Your nature or Your purpose in life for them.

Mellifluously, they say, “Praise the Lord,”

In a voice that quavers with calculated sanctimony,

But in their self-serving hearts, they do not seek You.

Instead, they seek a way to take advantage of others—

To manipulate the innocent to achieve nefarious goals,

Which they cloak in a shroud of religious altruism.

Winning at the expense of those who must lose,

They smile greedily, having successfully conned their prey.

 

As I watch and listen, I still remember a time,

When I was young, naïve, and easily fooled—

When I was unable to discern their deceptive intentions.

But that was then, and things have changed.

When I observe them now, I recognize how devious,

Self-serving, and cunning they really are.

In their hearts, they harbor pretense and treachery,

While craftily displaying a facade of external humility.

When I was innocence and naive, I was easily deceived.

Trusting by nature, I believed they had been sent by You

And that they had my best interests at heart.

As I reflect upon their actions decades later,

Having weathered their malice, manipulation and treachery,

I see the fruitlessness of their constant scheming.

Now, when I look for them, they cannot be found.

While I smile at the future, regardless of what it may hold,

I have learned that coming to You in complete honesty

Is the only path that will lead to a life of lasting contentment,

Amen.

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MY PRAYER: When I Am Worried


MY PRAYER: Father,
I am grateful for all that You have done.
I am so honored that You would love me
And would pay attention to my needs.
On my best days, which seem to be rare,
When I am peaceful and tranquil—
When I am confident You are in charge
And that I need not fret or worry—
I acknowledge how truly blessed I am.
Help me live in this truth each day.
Help me show others that You care
And that You are always available.
Let people see by my actions
The depth of my confidence in You;
Let them be convinced Your ways are worthy—
And You are always wise and prudent.
Teach me to refrain from boastful arrogance,
And let the pride of life be far from me.
Do not let this be my witness; Do not allow me
To push those who seek You further away,
Rather than help them draw nearer in time of need.
Teach me to be mindful that whatever I do,
Whether positive or negative, that it reflects on You—
On Your holy name,
Amen.
Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: Father,
As I observe those who call upon Your name
To fulfill their trivial, meaningless desires—
Those who are always craving and never satisfied,
Those who constantly demand more from You—
Like ravenous, all-consuming gluttons—
I’m amazed at how little they understand
Either Your nature or Your purpose in life for them.
Mellifluously, they say, “Praise the Lord,”
In a voice that quavers with calculated sanctimony,
But in their self-serving hearts, they do not seek You.
Instead, they seek a way to take advantage of others—
To manipulate the innocent to achieve nefarious goals,
Which they cloak in a shroud of religious altruism.
Winning at the expense of those who must lose,
They smile greedily, having successfully conned their prey.
As I watch and listen, I still remember a time,
When I was young, naïve, and easily fooled—
When I was unable to discern their deceptive intentions.
But that was then, and things have changed.
When I observe them now, I recognize how devious,
Self-serving, and cunning they really are.
In their hearts, they harbor pretense and treachery,
While craftily displaying a facade of external humility.
When I was innocence and naive, I was easily deceived.
Trusting by nature, I believed they had been sent by You
And that they had my best interests at heart.
As I reflect upon their actions decades later,
Having weathered their malice, manipulation and treachery,
I see the fruitlessness of their constant scheming.
Now, when I look for them, they cannot be found.
While I smile at the future, regardless of what it may hold,
I have learned that coming to You in complete honesty
Is the only path that will lead to a life of lasting contentment,
Amen.
Jack Watts

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MY PRAYER: When I Am Afraid


MY PRAYER: Father,
Sometimes I’m so afraid
That my skin grows cold
And I can hardly breathe.
I feel so helpless and all alone.
I’m afraid of so many things—
Of people, of places, of isolation,
Of death, and of economic insecurity.
The list seems endless, and I am powerless
To calm the fears that rob me of my serenity.
Without Your protective shielding,
I fear that imminent devastation
Will be my destiny, crushing me completely.
I am so consumed with fear that I cannot hear
Your calming reassurance.
In my heart, I know You are my immovable refuge.
My only hope is to rely on You completely.
In You, I am safe and sheltered from the storm
That threatens to destroy my future.
Help me to be calm, confident, and serene,
Regardless of my perplexing situation.
Help me to stand firm and never shrink away,
Regardless of the uncertainties that lay ahead.
Help me dwell in the safety of Your strength.
Guide me and protect me each day of my life,
For as many days that are left—one day at a time,
Amen.
Jack Watts

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