Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Bitterness, Burn Out, Care, Catholic, Christian, Cults, Depression, Drugs, Emotions, Evangelical, God, Hatred, Healing, Hurt, Love, Pain, Pride, Purpose, Racism, Rant, Recovery, Religion, Sex, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Value, Wounds on March 1, 2008|
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Refer to STEP 4: . . . God understands your wounded-ness . . . .
If you’ve been scolded out of the church, you probably think God doesn’t want you back. That’s more than likely the message you received when you were hounded out—either stated or implied. The subtle—or not so subtle—message is this: The church would be better off without you. The church is for good people . . . people who don’t ask questions . . . people who don’t rock the boat.
Am I right? That’s probably the message you received or, at least, the message you internalized as true.
If so, here’s some really good news for you. It isn’t true, and God definitely wants you back. His love for you has neither ceased nor diminished, regardless of the circumstances. It doesn’t matter what you may or may not have done. God loved you then, and He loves you now. Nothing can change that, and nobody controls whom God loves either.
He loves you, period!
Perhaps that’s why you’re reading this right now. Intuitively, you know it’s true. Or, maybe you believe God doesn’t love you because you don’t love yourself.
“How could anybody love me,” you might ask? “I’ve done some horrible things.” I don’t know what you’ve done, but it doesn’t matter.
Here’s some more good news. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. God loves you anyway. You may not believe it, but it’s true. That’s what grace is all about.
He wants you back; He wants a relationship with you—regardless of what you’ve been told or what you feel. There is a way out. There is a way up, and it’s available to you right now.
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Posted in Abuse, Anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Bitterness, Burn Out, Care, Emotions, Evangelical, God, Guilt, Hatred, Healing, Hurt, Pain, Pride, Purpose, Recovery, Religion, Revenge, Self-Absorbed, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Wounds on February 28, 2008|
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Refer to STEP 6: Made a commitment to turn away from my pride and refused to become just like those who abused me.
When you’ve been abused by someone is a position of authority, you experience many thoughts and emotions. One of them is what I call “the spirit of self-vindication.” Because you’ve been wronged, there is an inevitable desire to retaliate. You want to “set the record straight.”
You say to yourself—or to anyone who will listen, “I’m not going to let them get away with this. I’m going to . . .” and then you proceed to explain how you are going to even the score.
This is where things get tricky. Whether you are right or not is only half of the issue. Your motive has to be correct as well. If it isn’t, then you are in danger of becoming exactly like those who abused you in the first place. That’s what the spirit of self-vindication produces—another layer of self-righteousness.
When you act upon it, you are taking matters into your own hands. You try to force an outcome, and that rarely works. It feels great, but the satisfaction is short lived. The fruit from it is bitter, and you’re either forced to make amends or justify your poor behavior from then on.
Only the very brace will apologize and make amends. Most choose to rationalize their retaliation as just, reaping a hard heart in the process. Being vengeful only works in movies and cartoons, but you knew that, didn’t you?
To learn more about about the subject, go to: Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.
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