Posts Tagged ‘Finding a Sponsor’

Refer to Step 8: I will share my experience and my own wrongdoing with a trusted friend, confessing the exact state of my heart.


We are attracted to people who share in our growth and progress and lose interest in those who don’t.

—Recovery Quote

In every 12-step group, finding a sponsor is one of the essential steps to recovery. Usually, the sponsor has substantial time in the program—either alcohol or drug free—and has worked the steps to achieve a level of stability that someone new to the program can find beneficial. A sponsor is the first line of defense to keep a person from relapsing. Additionally, a sponsor is the person you are supposed to call before you pick up a drink or start using drugs—not after you do.

In recovery from religious abuse, having a sponsor is not as critical for recovery, but developing a support system of like-minded people certainly is. In this recovery system, the emphasis isn’t on stopping addictive behavior but on reconnecting with God in a rich and meaningful way.

Having people in your life who have had a similar experience can help your recovery, just as long as that person has worked through his or her own issues, especially bitterness and estrangement from God. Finding such people can be difficult. Most do not deal with their issues by being open and honest about them, choosing to suppress them instead. Perhaps it’s because they are too proud to admit they need help.

Nevertheless, it’s essential to develop relationships with fellow believers—those who will listen to you without scolding or being judgmental. It may take you a while to find someone like this, but when you do, you will recognize his or her value quickly. While looking for this person, be sure to be circumspect, knowing that Christians can be some of the harshest, most legalistic people on earth. If you detect even a hint of a critical spirit in the person, don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable. That would be unwise.

Encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today” lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:13)

Jack Watts   Recommended Resources

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