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Posts Tagged ‘stubborn refusal’


Father,

I’m still stuck in my destructive mindset,

Which has not changed appreciably.

It’s infuriating and unfair that I’m the one

Who has experienced so much pain.

They should be the ones to pay, but they haven’t.

I’m the one that continues to suffer.

I know that by my stubborn refusal to change,

I’m not hurting them—far from it.

Instead, I’m only hurting myself and those around me.

Question: Does this describe you? How close does it come? Take a minute and think about “being stuck” emotionally. If that is where you are, admit it.

Well-meaning sympathizers often make statements like these:

  • “I know you were hurt by what was said, but the pastor meant well by it.”
  • “You misunderstood; that’s all. You’re just too sensitive.”
  • “It’s not nearly as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be.”
  • “He would never hurt you on purpose. He’s been under a lot of stress lately, and you just need to let it go.”

Question: How many statements like these have you heard? Can you think of any you would like to add to the list?

Abusers behave ruthlessly, while calling it God’s leading, misleading many in the process. Their egocentric worldview allows them to embrace a mind-set, which equates their will with God’s will. From their perspective, the two are one and the same. Because their calling is higher than others, they consider themselves to be more important, and act accordingly. To them, what they think and say carries more weight than others. Leaders like these actually feel contempt for people who don’t agree with every word that flows from their mouths.

Journal: How accurately does this describe your situation? Can you think of a time when your abuser insisted that his or her will was God’s will, and you were sure it wasn’t? Write about it.

When trials come our way, most of us can generate the courage to fight our way through them. That is, when we know what the outcome is going to be. When we don’t, it’s a different matter entirely. Our courage evaporates; God’s power doesn’t seem to be almighty; and we spend our days terrified of what the future will bring.

Question: Is it difficult for you to think of God as Almighty? When you don’t see a way out of a dilemma, do you give up on God’s leadership and panic instead?

Praying only for the knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out, those of us in recovery march into the future, one day at a time, doing the next right thing. That’s all we have the power to do anyway. To think that we—or anybody else—have control of the future is an illusion. What we do have is the power to do the right thing at the right time for the right reason—nothing else.

Journal: What is the next right thing for you to do? Write about it, and then make a commitment to follow through with it.

Jack Watts   Resources

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