Refer to STEP4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
One’s cruelty is one’s power and, when one parts with one’s cruelty, one parts with one’s power. When one has parted with that, I fancy one’s old and ugly.
—William Congreve
For religious abuse to occur, an attitude of arrogance, entitlement, and pride is required by a religious leader. If such an attitude doesn’t exist, then most abuse is accidental—not malicious. To be certain what’s really happening, it’s always wise to take a good, hard look at every pastor and ministry leader. Try to discern telltale signs of spiritual superiority. If you spot any self-serving or narcissistic characteristics, move on. It doesn’t matter how profound the person’s teaching may be or how loving he or she appears to be, it’s an illusion. Those who recognize the problem and make a stand for what is right are the ones who will be abused.
Here’s the way it works. Although people have differences of opinion, when one person’s opinion is routinely elevated above others and positioned as “God’s will,” then abusiveness often follows. The person who doesn’t buy into the program is not only rebuked; but by holding his or her ground in opposition, that person’s relationship with God is inevitably called into question. To criticize the minister—”the anointed one”— is perceived as criticizing God, making the person who disagrees have flawed, “sinful” character qualities.
Routinely, those who are in opposition are depicted as “carnal”—as purposefully going against God’s will. This makes the questioning person’s walk with the Lord appear to be defective, which is exactly how it is positioned by the abusive leader. When the abuser says, “I’ll pray for you, brother,” it is usually accompanied by a syrupy smile. When this happens, you can be certain that no prayers will be forthcoming—only character assassination.
The person asking hard questions becomes an “untouchable”—rejected by those who were co-laborers just a short time earlier. This kind of treatment happens routinely in ministries and churches, wounding people beyond their capacity to cope with life afterwards. When the process is complete, there is another person added to the ranks of the religiously abused.
Your boasting is not good. Do you know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavened. For Christ our Passover also has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. (I Corinthians 5:6-8)
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RE: “If such an attitude doesn’t exist, then most abuse is accidental—not malicious.” Important inclusion…religion is a passionate subject and involves a lot of words. Watch your tongue, & be forgiving!
RE: “it’s always wise to take a good, hard look at every pastor and ministry leader” Oh man, this is an important point I wish more people would consider, especially TV watchers. Investigate the character of the teacher; be it pastor, rabbi, evangelist, or author, before absorbing their words.
RE: “The person asking hard questions becomes an “untouchable”—rejected by those who were co-laborers just a short time earlier.” As a believer who does NOT think Jesus abolished the Law of Moses, I get this. Without it we have no tutor leading us to Messiah (Gal 3), helping us discern between what is the Holy Spirit and deceiving spirits, false teachers, and our own will presumptuously superimposed on the Holy Spirit. (Deut 13).
God puts us in these false situations on purpose…abuse, false teaching, etc. to test whether we really know the Scriptures for ourselves or are just following a doctrine we like from some guy. He’s testing whether we care enough about how He told us to live to learn the Word directly from the Bible ourselves and test all things, and most importantly live it in our lives. You cannot know God’s definition of righteousness without living it…in order to do that, you have to read the instruction manual.
Most importantly, how we know & keep His commands is how HE measures OUR love for HIM (Deut 13, James 1). Imagine that…God thought of everything, including the manner in which He’d like us to display our love…or lack thereof.
Guys, the bottom line is this: God would really like to see folks winning more battles against false teachers, and I know I sure would…as we plunge headlong into days likened to those of Noah (Luke 17). So remember the words of your tutor (Gal 3), or learn them if you never have…they’ll lead you to good teachers and ultimately the real Messiah instead of the antichrist (Rev 14:12).
1 John 2
“We know that we have come to know him if we KEEP HIS COMMANDS. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must LIVE AS JESUS DID.
Deut 13
…you must not listen to the words of that [false] prophet or dreamer. The Lord your GOD IS TESTING YOU to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. KEEP HIS COMMANDS and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.
~Shalom.
Thank you Jack for the response and lesson. I am still healing but working in a very positive perspective. Peace !