MY PRAYER: Father,
The wounds from my mistreatment run deep,
Creating anger, frustration, and an overwhelming
Sense of worthlessness that
Enervates every area of my life.
With my mouth, I refuse to admit
That this is how I see my situation,
But in the deepest recesses of my mind,
I wonder if the castigation of my abusers is correct.
Maybe my life doesn’t have much value, after all,
Precisely as I have been told repeatedly.
It’s a message I have internalized as accurate.
When my exploitation occurred,
I was angrier with You
Than with those who abused me.
Because of the relentlessness of their vitriol,
I believed they spoke the truth,
Which was certainly what they indicated.
But now, I have begun to view things differently.
In my woundedness, it never occurred to me
That Your Son was also abused—just like me—
By hateful, self-righteous religious leaders.
You permitted His abuse—just like You’ve permitted mine.
What Christ’s abusers meant for evil, You meant for good,
Redeeming Mankind through his death and Resurrection.
Without the suffering of Your Son, all would be lost.
Thank You for allowing such a tragedy to occur,
On my behalf, as well as on the behalf of others.
Father, can You make my life have similar worth?
Can You use my abuse for something that
Has transforming value for others as well as for me?
Can You turn my pain and my weakness into strength?
Can You take my life, which has been shattered,
And make it joyful and purposeful once again?